i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
