i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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