Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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