Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
