oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
