called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Randomize
