to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
