Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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