Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize