I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
