Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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