Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
