I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
