she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
