I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
