I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
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