You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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