I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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