dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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