Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
