Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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