I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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