went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
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He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
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Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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