Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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