its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
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