His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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