Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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