It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
