Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
