I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
