I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
