i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize