Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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