hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It's never too late to be topless.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
