You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
