you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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