You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I cut my penus on the lid.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
