and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
