Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Be still, my beating vagina.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
