4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
