He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
love makes seman taste better
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
