Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
