I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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