My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
