Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
