Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Randomize
