Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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