so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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