For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
