dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
