Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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