then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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