so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
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He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
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Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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