Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
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