Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
