How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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